loSt…bRain dEAd! =X liFe suKZ! >_<”

Been living in this world for 16 years now… and soo many things I have learnt on my way…
Falling in love in july and getting my heart broken the very next minute.
Life is not as easy as spelt.
It is filled with soo much pain and sometimes, so much love…
Every corner I turn, I seem to find something blocking my way…
Blocking my way from thinking straight… and hurting me in every single way ..left, right and center.
They say that “all good things come to those who wait” sigh I duno wtf im talkin abt…
My head has just been soo very fukd lately…and its killing me!! >_<
Its not juz the boi..=/ however, as u all should kno..he played a very big part in mai major 2004 depression! Sighz >_<”

Sometimes I wish that I was never born! If I could choose to give someone else my life in exchange for me not being born..! lol I would gladly be honored! Lolz..that is if I knew all the crap that I was gona hav to put up wit !! sighz~~ but then.. we can never tell the future, and must take things as they come! =/ argh! Sigh… if onli ther was a time machine..so we could see the future and oso go back in time to make changes in our life!! =/ I kno im livin a dream, and oso as good as it may sound..it not that best thing to do! Lol =/ coz changing time would change the present!! And ther are some things in life that arent that bad I guess! Lol =/ hahaha sigh im juz talkin shiet! Sigh
My head is soo fukd and exams are coming up!!! I serioulsy duno wut to do nemore..=/
I cant study…. Its not like I havnt tried..it juz that I duno how and I reli cant concentrate! Sigh >_< this semesters exams seem to be creepin up faster than the last..and it feels asif ther isnt any time to study!! =/
ArgH… I don’t know wut to type..! I duno wut to say nemore..!! today I was out wit fwens and ..i duno.. some weird feelings just came over me and I stopped talking..for ..the rest of the day =/ sigh..
I duno wut the answer is to all the questions in my head.. I duno wut to do wit everything that is going on… everything around me seems to b going on soo fast, and I duno how to deal wit everything nemore…

*slow jammin atm* omgosh nice old school songs!! *cries* dont say goodbye-human nature! lolz
..sigh.. I wish I never turned 16!! It was one of the worse days of my life and I wish I forgot abt everything that night!! Sigh… evreythin that has happened after that day hav been super fukd I tell u!! I cant even explain how fukd it has been.. sigh.more painful than words can explain..sigh..
I duno wut to do nemore!!!!! >_____<” ther are soo many things in mai head…but I duno how to put it all in words…I duno how to say it..im juz feeling all this crap inside of mee… feeling all the pain that is pullin me down..
Btw I tink me being a scorpio has quite a lot of things to do wit how Im feeling, and how I act towards my feelings!! Coz I tell u ..scorpios..altho we are the best and most exotic in bed!! (LOL it was in a magazine!! LOL..all facts!! Im not makin netink up =P) haha wel..hrmm eventho we are the most sexiest =P we are also the most stubborn and jealous creatures ever!! Sigh >_<” hahaha im serious eyy! Lol I got examples and living proof lor! >_<”
Life sukz … siiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhhh
I tink by know everyone who reads this should know…
And yes I kno my blogs dun make sense… I dun even kno wut I typ.. im typing everything that come to my head..=/ hrmm if u think it confusing… lOL.try living my life..try to understan wut is going on in my head… !!! hrmm its soo much more confusing and fukd up! =X sighz~~ soo fukd that I duno how to explain it…ther seriouly are no words that can describe the pain that I go thru ..=S sighz

The other day..im soo stoopid!! I bought somthink from the body shop…. Something that reminds me of him…=/ sigh~~ I luv that smell..and it reminds me of him..but lol..i lOVE thAT SmELL!!! Lolz >_< hrmmm bleh* stoopid me!! Haha keep on hurtin myself..!! sigh.. but oso, that day I got a pink helium balloon..and I sed to myslef…
That I was gona let go of the balloon wen I get back home and write sum stuff on it and once I let it go..imma let all the crap I wrote the balloon go tooo!! Soo I wrote my random thoughts and watched my balloon fly away!! >_< in an…indirect wayy..lol I was lettin go of things..sigh … letting go of some of the burdens that m heart held … =/ tryin to let go of the past and move on with life..!! =X sighhhhhhhhh~~~
I like to talk crap don’t I? Rofl..soweeeee >_<” I duno netink now adayz…

The life of a fuked up dreamer, who thinks wayy too much..wasting her time dreamin abt a life that she will never ever have… a happiness that she will never ever find and a love that does not exist!!!!
Lol..hrm not reali abt the love part..lol but it juz sounded kool >_<” stil…I wouldn’t mind to hav somoene to call my own..someone to hold and hug at night agen..sigh..>_< uoyssimi!! >_< arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh blehhhhhhhh *cries*
Omgosh soo many nice songs tonight >_< siiiighhh
*reminiscing* bleh..sighh…

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There are times in life when it feels like everyone around you doesn’t know that u exist.
When u are left wit all the pain and troubles, with no one to lend a helping hand.
Why does life have to be so hard, so painful…